.
.
.
钱德勒冲格拉斯挑了挑眉,无奈地搭上了乔伊的肩膀。
RossAnd- so?
Ross(那结果呢?)
GlassAre you blind?
Glass(你瞎吗?)
当然是分手了!
说着,三人也已经站了起来。
ChandlerYou, however have had the love of women for four years,
Chandler(而你已经和一个女人相爱四年了)
一边说着,钱德勒和还拿着锤子的格拉斯走到罗斯身边,一个拧着眉认真地“分析”,一个不停晃动着手里的“小锤锤”。
罗斯不得不紧紧盯着那只手,抱着自己的啤酒默默缩起身子。
Chandlerfour years of closeness and sharing
Chandler(四年的肌肤相亲和悲喜与共)
Chandlerat the end of which she ripped your heart out,
Chandler(最后她把你的心给伤透了)
Chandlerand that's why we don't do it!
Chandler(这就是为什么我们不这么干!)
重点好像不太对…
GlassThe train derailed.
Glass(跑题了)
钱德勒迅速反应过来。
ChandlerI don't think that was my point!
GlassOkay, it's the "Glass's story" time?
Glass(好了,是不是该“格拉斯故事”时间了?)
对上罗斯不理解的眼神,格拉斯嘴角不屑地下撇。
GlassTwo-year Mento.
Glass(两年的曼妥思糖)
罗斯原本是不想听的,但他晃了晃脑袋,还是答应了。
说不定能抓到格拉斯·格林的小把柄之类的呢?
RossOkay, it's your turn.
Ross(好吧,该你了)
脸上故意做出浮夸的表情,过于刻意的不情不愿并没有打消格拉斯“讲故事”的热情。
他尽量忽视掉那个拿着啤酒的“闷罐子”,锤子调换了手心,轻轻一笑。
GlassOkay,
Glasswhen I first met him, he was a…
一句话都没说完,就被三人的惊呼打断了。
ChandlerHe?!
RossAre you- are you narrating in the third person?
而乔伊紧皱着眉头,看上去认真极了。
JoeyThat means…
随即又立刻舒展开,一副“我懂”的样子连连点头。
ChandlerOh my God!
ChandlerYou never had a woman?
夸张地向后跳了一步,右手食指有来有回地指着格拉斯。
ChandlerDid you? Did you?
格拉斯软乎乎地笑了笑,看得三个单身男人一阵唏嘘。
这就算是默认了?
RossJuses…
RossYou're kidding!
Ross(你在开什么玩笑!)
看着一脸恐慌的罗斯,格拉斯收起玩闹的心思,抬手想要拍拍他的胳膊,却被他躲开了。
GlassHey, come on!
GlassGot you, huh?
Glass(吓到你了吧!)
RossWell… I knew!
Ross(我就知道!)
GlassSo…
格拉斯朝他招手,但罗斯还是不敢动。
没办法,有些恐惧是刻在基因里的。
见格拉斯的手还举着,有些无处安放,钱德勒晃荡着身子靠了过来。
ChandlerIt doesn't matter, I have experience.
Chandler(就算是真的也没关系,我有经验)
JoeyYou really scared the shit out of Ross.
Joey(你真的把他吓死了)
RossNo…
Ross(才没有…)
GlassAnd actually, I've never had a woman.
Glass(我确实没有过女人)
RossGod, that's my point!
JoeyWhat?
RossY'know what the scariest part is?
Ross(你们知道最可怕的是什么吗?)
RossWhat if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know?
Ross(万一人这一辈子只有一个女人怎么办?)
RossI mean what if you get one woman
Rossand that's it?
Ross(你找到了一个女人,然后就此度过一生?)
RossUnfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her…
GlassAnd I don't even have one.
Glass(而我甚至一个都没有)
格拉斯一本正经地自嘲着,钱德勒晃荡着脑袋揽住了他的肩膀。
乔伊不知道什么时候拿了三罐啤酒过来,一个打滑窜到了几人中间。
JoeyWhat're you talking about?
Joey"One woman"?
JoeyThat's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you.
Joey(就好像是在说你只能吃一种口味的冰淇淋)
钱德勒从乔伊手里拿过一罐,要和格拉斯分着喝。在对上格拉斯疑惑的眼神时,钱德勒悄悄指了指乔伊,然后比了个“二”。
格拉斯大概懂了。
一个乔伊等于两罐啤酒?
看着乔伊结实的手臂,格拉斯兀自点了点头。
JoeyLemme tell you something, Ross.
JoeyThere's lots of flavors out there.
Joey(还有很多种口味)
JoeyThere's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla.
Joey(有巧克力坚果味、曲奇饼味和香草味)
JoeyYou couldn't get 'em with Jimmies or nuts, or whipped cream!
Joey(还可以和糖条、果仁或者奶油一起吃)
格拉斯就着钱德勒的手抿了口酒,稍稍侧脸,悄声问他。
GlassWhat does he do?
GlassChef? Food show host?
JoeyThis is the best thing that ever happened to you!
Joey(这简直是你一生中最大的美事!)
JoeyYou got married, you were eight?
Joey(你难道是八岁结的婚吗?)
乔伊回头朝钱德勒和格拉斯憨憨笑了几下,钱德勒假笑着回应,又在乔伊转过头去时回应格拉斯的悄悄话。
ChandlerWell, definitely,
Chandlerhe doesn't need customers.
Chandler(那他肯定不需要顾客)
JoeyWelcome back to the world!
JoeyGrab a spoon!
Joey(拿起勺子开挖吧!)
RossI honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
Ross(我真不知道现在自己是真饿了还是欲火难耐)
说着还看了眼格拉斯。
Rossos: If I flirt with Rachel, he'll kill me!
Ross(os:我要是敢去撩拨瑞秋,他肯定要杀了我!)
钱德勒却突然收起笑容,同时把格拉斯挡在自己身后
ChandlerStay out of MY freezer!
Chandler(离我的冰箱远点!)
说完,不顾罗斯想要辩解的神情,跟格拉斯勾肩搭背地离开了。
GlassAlright, I'm YOUR freezer.
钱德勒·宾式重音,格拉斯·格林学会了。
RossHey… I'm not g.ay!
乔伊拍了拍罗斯的肩膀表示安慰,随后哼着歌也离开了。
.
Glassos: Damn it, why are we still here?
Glass(os:该死的,为什么我们还在这儿?)
格拉斯瞪着一双死鱼眼盯着把自己埋进窗帘的罗斯,心里忍不住“赞叹”。
Glassos: God, he's a perfect match for the curtain.
Glass(os:老天,他和窗帘还真是绝配)
Ross"Grab a spoon."
Ross(“拿起勺子”)
RossDo you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon?
Ross(你知道我拿起勺子多久了吗?)
RossDo the words "Billy, don't be a hero" mean anything to you?
Ross(难道“比利,别逞英雄”这句歌词对你没有意义吗?)
GlassWell, I never used a spoon.
Glass(我就没用过勺子)
.
.
.
———
———
Unfinished to be continued