自发的牢骚

One day in 1932, I'm Little Johnum. What a messed-up day it was! I wrote that self-criticism and I wasn't afraid to oppose my father's viewpoints. I meant every word of it. They thought I was being naughty, but I was just being honest.

That night, my parents, Major General Jacob and Diana, locked me in a room. I screamed my lungs out, but they wouldn't listen. I thought they were being so unfair.

In that dark and small room, my heart was filled with terror and confusion. The darkness seemed to swallow me whole, and every passing second felt like an eternity. I felt so alone and helpless.

I began to recall those happy times before. I still remember on a sunny afternoon, our family played in the garden and laughter echoed in the air. My father would lift me up high and my mother watched us with a smile. And that picnic when the whole family went together, we enjoyed delicious food on the green grass and felt the gentle breeze. Those once warm and joyful moments now seemed so distant and illusory.

Thoughts raced through my mind. Was I really that bad to deserve this? Why couldn't they understand me? The silence and the confinement made me question everything. Fear gnawed at my insides as I wondered if I would ever get out of this dreadful place.

Then they let me out, but I still wouldn't back down. And they came up with this crazy idea of a mock execution training. They must be nuts! Locking me up and then this? I was so angry.

When I heard about that mock execution training, my heart was pounding like crazy. Fear gripped me tightly. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have guns pointed at me, even if it was just a pretend thing. Thoughts raced through my mind. What if something went wrong? What if those soldiers lost control? The uncertainty and the sense of danger filled me with terror. I felt like I was in a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from.

The mock execution training was terrifying. A few Dutch soldiers pointed their guns filled with shotgun pellets at me and fired back and forth. The pellets had a small dose, so it hurt like hell but wouldn't kill or seriously injure. It was still a nightmare.

Even though Uncle Mark gave me a lot of candies to comfort me, this incident left a deep psychological scar on me. I'll never forget how crazy my parents were that day.

After the punishment, Major General Jacob even taunted me. His cold words pierced my heart like sharp swords. Even worse, he actually gave me a rebel medal. However, only he and I knew about this and he would definitely not tell others.