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There is a fine line between lsn and me. It's like separate screens but in one. ?. I don't know why I had this feeling. He is the Representative of the other world for me. While we did once have very intimate moments, it's just getting more and more distant and far away. It seems better not to break the wall if nothing serious. I could not handle this kind of relationship earlier but it's getting better now. After all we are so different. I think it good. Very different people learn from each other. And the fine line is stable. We don't worry about becoming more and more like each other...but really? We always imitate the others unfortunately. So let's just be careless.

The days off the railway, I comment my present life as such. It's kind of scary actually if thinking about it. Can't find the right thing? Sorry I always give myself questions. I'm now at my mom's, two hundred meters away from my apartment. The two hundred makes a large difference. I feel free. I guess that little room can lock me and my mind in a certain way. I planned to school again this week but couldn't find the urge anymore. It suffers a bit.

I find myself not respecting life. I, not being a good girl. For now, only work encourage me to have spirits. And that gives me worry.

People are looking for formal jobs for me, except me. I feel like doing the current job continually. The real problem is, to have more joy and gaining by doing other things? I wanna go out but no destination. Maybe more learning, staying.